Nov 4, 2011

On Moving On

James' last semester gave out much of his weakness: falling in love and being a fool over it. No, no Joe to be blamed on, James reckons that it was all his fault that he didn't verbalize everything that he had in mind. He left a few spots for the self-pity cancers to abound, which should have not been the case.

James was never deeply in love in his whole life. Whatever happened to him and to his last partner, he all accounts to their magnitude of similarities. He never met a person so internally diverse yet when they were together, is like a twin brother. The probabilities of getting to know such a person seem like one in seven billion: it is almost a chance that one's DNA is replicated without aversions, if that is even possible.

Last semester was James' worst academically speaking. Though he didn't fail a subject, every grade which came out had to be like watching a suspense-thriller flick where the killer was somewhere overlooking his every action. His mom was not particularly satisfied with it. All he knows is that he has to implore adjustments to provide a room for improvement. If improvement can be expected.

Joe may have already told stories in his blog on how James has still not moved on yet, and how this blog post will affirm of such a possibility: yes, it is true. Moving on is a remote idea which needs proper rehabilitation to be achieved. Just exactly like an investment where one expects half-bankruptcy by the end of the month. While there is a little time left before three months of them not being together as a couple expires, expectations on a renewed relationship (be it platonic or friendly) stands.

He thought that having a move on cut will work. For the benefit of other people, no, it did not. Moving on is more of a self-containing entity than circumstance-reliant, which, on a layman expression, is independent of haircut and/or sporting a new hobby/boyfirend.

He may have drowned on his computer games all day but at the end of it, just before his sleep, punctuate it with thoughts of his ex. It is not rewarding for the brain. It is stressful. He had to bear that for months.

Thinking about it sucks.

There is nothing to be perused in this introspection. This exists to grace the epitaph of an ember rather than enumerate the misgivings of James' soul and spirit into thinking that things can be modified for his own. For the battle has long been won over and he celebrates his loss in as much as he celebrates his victory. No man is an island, and to that, we should drink to Pangaea once again. Cheers.

The least that could make him happy in this setup is the fact that he is assured of the other party's happiness. No hard feelings, rejections come around in places. He must be moving on, too, soon.

3 comments:

  1. Ouch. Sorry for the loss of words but then, no words can be enough.

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  2. sigh..painful as it is, you eventually move on. but treasure the love, someday soon, when this is over you'll smile and be thankful that you experienced this...

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  3. It's okay, Neokiro, understandable. Read your e-mail and there is nothing to be guilty about.

    We all learn from experiences, Marky1785. We just get these lessons delivered on our own time.

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Enlighten James' mental quagmire.